13 September 2014

20 facts


The 20 facts kraze that had been going around on instagrams and facebook reminds me so much of the friendster days where we often posts something similar like that? What was that called again lololol.

Hehehehe you must have thought I shamelessly want to this myself. Tagged by @maycih but I refuse to do it on instagram or facebook >:( It makes the post so long and difficult to type and scroll through. I might as well write this on this blog and read it back again ten years later and have a good laugh myself.

1. I am never below the weight of 50kg. All my life I had always been fat and hehehe I've a big belly. Its a legit belly that looks like a beer belly but its not a beer belly.

2. I have Trypophobia (holes wtf) and major afraid of snakes and syringes/injections. My tolerance for pain is ZERO.

3. My name Vivian is not written in my BC. Hehehe, it was just one of those random days where I woke up and told my mom that I want a name that people can easily call instead of my chinese name which half of the time people try to make fun of wtf. Gone were my Std 1 days.

4. 'Vivian' was named after 周慧敏 Vivian Chow, an HK actress and singer. My mom said she's beautiful. But then again, she also said Princess Diana was beautiful. I picked Vivian over Diana anytime LOLOLOLOL.

5. Half of the time I tell people I am broke. BUT, I'm definitely not a cheapskate. Yknow how sometimes when your bank hits a certain figure and the alarm in you just rang and scream STAHP STAHP STAHP SPENDING MONEY YOU LIL BEEEEETCH. My alarm always rung in this case.

6. I'm very very blessed with the amount of love and care I receive from friends, family and bf. It feels very much impossible sometimes. Bc the amount of annoyance and shit I bring to people is insane. I love the joy of driving people crazy HEHEHEHE and doing absolutely disgusting stuff to everybody.

7. HEHEHEHEHE I can do very disgusting stuff. But if we're not close, you probably won't figure that I'm such a person hahahaha!!

8. I complain a lot. I'm just a very whiny bitch. I can go on and on and on.

9. I used to have ZERO patience. But I guess when you're in a rship, you inevitably learn to have one because couples drives each other nuts.

10. They say I don't look stupid but I do a lot of stupid stuff all the time. But in my defend, if I don't do stupid stuff, you will happy meh? You will laugh so hard meh? Right or not?!

11. I have the exact personality like my mother. Hence when people say I drive them nuts, I have a mother who half of the time annoys me as well.

12. I can't watch any pets related movie/video. Don't even start with animal cruelty/abusing. I can't put myself to watching it and crying my eyeballs out.

13. Which explains that I have a very soft spot for animals. Dogs especially. I'm okay with cats... but I don't get to play with them very often.

14. I am spoilt by my friends. So spoilt that they set the benchmark so high to find a boyfriend HEHEHEHEHE. They are the kind of people that would give in to me (provided I am not overboard la wtf) and would hardly say no to me. If I wanna go here, they bring me hereeee. When I wanna go there, they bring me thereeeeeeee.

15. I get stressed up and nervous very easily. & when I'm feeling like that, half of the time I don't understand what is people trying to tell me because the brain is clogged wtf. And when I'm feeling nervous, I get butterflies in my tummy and its when I need to shit. Like literally.

16. I'm a bad listener. Hence why I'm not only bad at listening people out but also really bad in dictation. When I had to jot down really important information of what the person on the line was saying, I could barely write anything.

17. I have 2 elder brothers. Difference of 8 and 5 years. But we have quite a strong bond and blend along quite closely and all these happens only as we grew older. Speaking of which, I've never had any physical fights with my siblings before.

18. I love any food with pandan, santan, coconut and gula melaka. Very bad for health but very good for my emotions. It makes me happy all day long. Cendol, coconut shake, sago gula melaka, pandan cake, etc oh god, I'm drooling now lololol.

19. I have very limited intake of vegetables everyday. I'm carnivorous instead of omnivorous. The kind of vege I eat are.. kangkung, paku, coral, four angled beans (this one super love one), lady finger (must cook in curry or assam).... I think that's about it. But right, cook anything with sambal or super spicy, I will have more intake of it than usual.

20. I have quite an OCD. I arrange my money from small to big, big to small. Feets must be washed before getting on my bed. Apps must be in folders for organization purposes. My desktop screen must be clean, there are only 2 shortcuts; recycle bin and itools which I can't delete it off. When my car petrol mileage can't hit at least 420km, I get super annoyed. I save my favorite food last to eat unless I'm sharing with someone else then I'll eat my favorite food first lololol. When I have curry, sambal or assam, I like my rice all covered with it. When I liquid something off my writing, I will wait until its dry before I proceed writing with the next word.

That's about it! Damn, its not easy writing 20 leh wtf. I nearly gave up at 5 hahahahahaha! I'm hoping this is something I would look and have a good laugh ten or twenty years later and say omfg what was I thinking when I was younger?

I hope everyone's good! Tata for now. X

14 April 2014

Your presence means too much

Pain. But who can possibly understand? There's nothing that I can do to make you feel better. I don't blame you but all I wanted was for you to know that I'll always be here for you no matter what. I just need you to not give up on us and hold onto this tightly.

When the world fails on you, I'm always here. When you're on the verge of giving up, I hope you would remember the reason why we decided to do this together. Why and how did faith brought us back after 4 years.

有些话,你真的好像挂在嘴边。很轻易的就说出口,你就不能想下我听到的感受是如何吗?痛,但不会也不能说些什么。只是想告诉你,亲爱的,累了的话 我的肩膀也可以给你靠的。

28 January 2014


"Because to say is easy, to do is difficult,"

Only when you love yourself,

I can do this. I can impress. I can do good. I can feel good. I can be pretty. I can love others. I can be loved. I can be confident. I can surprise. I can be proud. I can work this out. I can throw away disappointment. I can amaze. I can let go of this.

I'm positive. I didn't took that step to go through another round of disappointment. I did it for my own good. For I know, I will work things out and bring back that smile. I will mend my mistakes and never put it on repeat. For I know, the pain and sorrow that I caused was too hurtful.

People say, people make mistakes. I say its incomparable.

I close my eyes and pray.